When God Doesn't Heal

Jehovah Rapha

The Lord Who Heals You

I must admit that I have greatly struggled with this writing. In fact, I really wanted to just ignore this name of God and save it for last. Something, however, has continued compelling me to write this and not just ignore it.

The Bible is full of scripture about healing. Old Testament and New Testament people cried out to God for healing and received it. Jesus spent a fair amount of his ministry healing people. What happens when we, like the people in scripture, call out to God in faith for healing...and it doesn't come?

The Apostle Paul experienced this. Paul prayed three times for God to remove his "thorn in the flesh". I have no idea what illness or injury Paul was dealing with. There have been many speculations, but all we know is that Paul didn't want it in his life, yet God did. God told Paul that His grace was sufficient for him, so Paul continued his ministry in spite of his physical impairment,

For nearly 20 years, I and my family and friends (along with many people I've never met) have prayed that I would be healed from cancer. Forget just 3 times like Paul - we've flooded heavens gates with petitions and pleas for 20 years. Even though God has chosen not to heal me of this cancer, He has blessed me with 20 years to spend with my husband, family and friends. I've been privileged to experience many good things in those 20 years. 

Nothing is too hard for the Almighty, but the Psalmist still cries out "In the course of my life, he broke my strength, he cut short my days." (Psalm 102:33)

If nothing is impossible for God, why does he sometimes choose not to heal? Why does it seem as though He would rather leave us in pain?

C.S. Lewis writes in his book "The Problem with Pain"

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pain, it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

What is the message God is sending us through our pain?

Our sickness and pain gives us only a small glimpse of the misery we would suffer eternally separated from the Lord's blessings. Often times, our sickness and pain is a wake up call to turn our hearts back to the Lord and avoid the eternal suffering of being in the darkness away from His presence.

For some, the sickness and pain they experience, is to accomplish a greater purpose for them and for God. Like the Apostle Paul, his weakness showed the mighty hand of God in a way that physical healing could not.

Joni Eareckson Tada gives some excellent, practical advise for those suffering physical pain or limitations:

1. Accept the pain and embrace God through it. Don't fight against the pain that God has allowed in your life - accept it and ask God to give you the strength to go through it, the grace to benefit from it and the devotion to thank him for his love for you in all circumstances.

2. Use your pain to bring God glory. While illness limits you, there's no limit to the amount of glory you can bring God by choosing to trust him in the middle of pain.

3. Find ultimate healing. Look forward to enjoying heaven, where you'll never suffer any physical problems again and even better - you will never be weighed down by sin again.

The song "Even If" by Kutless says it better than I can:

" Even if healing doesn't come and life falls apart and dreams are still undone - You are God - You are Good - Forever Faithful One, Even if the healing doesn't come.

You are still the Great and Mighty One, we trust you always. You're working all things for our good. We'll sing your praise. You are God and we will bless you as the Good and Faithful One - You are God and we will bless you - Even if the healing doesn't come.

Blessings,

Mandy

God is Peace

Jehovah Shalom

Yahweh Shalom

God is Peace

Yahweh Shalom - God is Peace

This is the name given by Gideon at the altar he built on the spot where the angel of the Lord appeared to him. (Judges 6:23)

Peace is the deepest desire of the human heart. Peace represents contentment and satisfaction in life. Our hearts crave peace. 

God has always understood how much we need peace:

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed", says the Lord, who has compassion on you. (Isaiah 54:10)

" And I will make an agreement of peace with them; it will be an eternal agreement with them; and I will have mercy on them and make their numbers great, and will put my holy place among them forever."  (Ezekiel 37:26)

Lord, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished, you have done for us. (Isaiah 26:12)

The Lord gives His people strength. The Lord blesses His people with peace. (Psalm 29:11)

God promised to restore Israel not only physically but spiritually.  This promise of peace was ultimately to be fulfilled by Jesus. 

For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders and he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6)

Jesus is the Prince of Peace. Jesus reminds us that He IS peace. When Jesus left this world to return to heaven, He knew that we would still need Him to give us peace. He left us peace through the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is the very presence of God within us and all believers, helping us live as God wants, working for us and in us.

"I have told you these things, so that you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

" Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

The world's view of peace is very different from God's view of peace. 

PEACE - it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. - Author Unknown

The peace of the world is the absence of any trouble, worry or fears. The peace of God is is confidence and assurance that, despite any circumstance, He is with us. This world does not have the final say - Jesus has overcome the world!

What do we do when God's peace seems elusive? So often we ask for peace, beg for peace, yet it seems the gates of heaven have been closed to our pleas.

We must TRUST! We cannot receive the peace of God when our heart and mind is full of worry. Worry shows that we are not trusting in God - it takes our mind off God and places it on our current or future problems. 

Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ. (Philippians 4:6-9)

We cannot experience the peace of God unless we are trusting and focusing on Him.

Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace. - Author Unknown

Have you lost your peace? Are you struggling to find peace? First, pray. Tell God what you need, what is troubling you. Next, give thanks. Thank God for all He has done for you. It's hard to worry and not have peace when you are giving God thanks. Finally, keep your heart and your mind focused on God's promises. He has promised unfailing love and peace to you. Accept that love...accept that peace. 

Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with you all. (2 Thessalonians 3:16)

Blessings,

Mandy

New Blog Series - The Names of God

Several months ago, a friend sent me a photo with all the names of God, then a few days ago, a website called Love God Greatly began a study on the very topic. I've decided to use the verses provided from that website to begin my own study on the names of God, and I would like to share that study with you all. 

Yahweh-Yireh

Jehovah-Jireh

The Lord Will Provide

The one thing Abraham longed for was a child. He and his wife, Sarah, were, for all intents and purposes, much too old to have children. God, however, made Abraham a promise that he would indeed have a child. Abraham trusted that God would keep His promise, and though it took a long time, when Abraham was 100 years old, his son Issac was born.

Abraham is mentioned many times because of his faith. His faith was most tested, when God asked what we would consider the unthinkable of him. God told Abraham to take his son Isaac to the top of a mountain and offer him as a sacrifice. To us this sounds barbaric and un-imaginable that God would ask this of Abraham. How could God promise him a son, then just take him away? Abraham, however, full of faith, trusted that God's would remain faithful to His promise and provide.

Abraham took Isaac to the top of the mountain...he built an altar...he placed his son on that altar...he had the knife raised in his hand...God called out STOP! God said, don't harm your son. I know that your faith has been proven true. You wouldn't withhold anything from the Lord, not even your only son. Abraham looked up from his precious boy and saw a ram caught in a thicket. He took the ram, put it on the altar in place of his son, and sacrificed it to God. Abraham named that place "Yahweh-Yireh", which means "The Lord will Provide".

I wonder what Abraham thought and felt as he walked up that mountain. Surely he felt fear, doubt, even dread. Abraham wasn't super human, or immune to these feelings. Surely, he had to fight his way up that hill. His faith was made evident in every step that he took toward the top.  Abraham could just as easily have said, God is out of his mind - there is no way I'm going to sacrifice my only son like that. He could have taken Isaac, and run away - refused to obey.

The parallel between Abraham being asked to sacrifice his son and God sacrificing his one and only son are apparent. Only - there was no substitution for Jesus - He was the substitution for us!

God often asks us to climb big mountains. Sometimes what is waiting for us at the top of the mountain is frightening and we would really rather not trudge up the hill. Like Abraham, we have a choice.  We can faithfully put one foot in front of the other,  trusting that God will be waiting for us at the top of the mountain, or we can ignore Him and run in the opposite direction.

God also had a choice.

Ephesians 2:1-6 (The Message)

"It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us, in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose His temper and do away with the whole lot of us.

Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, He embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on His own with no help from us! Then He picked us up and set us down in the highest heaven in company with Jesus our Messiah". 

God chose love, mercy and grace even though we deserved just the opposite. God loved us so much that he gave us his only son. (John 3:16)

Jesus also had a choice. He was sent from heaven by His Father. Jesus knew that obedience to His Father and his journey here would ultimately lead to His death. He knew that every step He took was a step closer to crucifixion. He also knew that every step He took, brought us closer to having a hope of heaven. 

At any time, Jesus could have said - these people are not worth it. They are hateful, ungrateful and this is not worth what I'm going through. At any time, he could have stopped, and returned to a glorious life in heaven. Jesus chose us! Hateful and ungrateful as we can be, He still chose to make each agonizing step toward the cross because He knew that He was our only hope. Without Him, we would never be able to face God covered in sin. With Him, however, we could stand before God, covered in the love, grace and blood of our Messiah, Christ.

Now we have a choice. Life will be difficult no matter what choice we make. Sadly, this is the nature of our sin filled world. We can choose the world - which sometimes seems much easier - doing what we want when we want - but this way is also full of fear of what awaits us at the top of the mountain. 

OR, We can choose Jesus. We can walk through the fear and walk with grace and faith, knowing that Yahweh-Yireh has and will provide for us. He has already provided Jesus and He will continue to provide grace, strength and peace for each step of our journey. He will ultimately provide a beautiful place in heaven for us once we reach the end of our journey. 

Today, I pray that you will choose grace; choose Jesus. The way will not always be smooth and easy. The path will often be rocky and filled with obstacles that seem too large to overcome. However, with Yahweh-Yireh; Jehovah-Jireh, we can make the journey with a sense of peace knowing that He will provide for each step we take.

Blessings,

Mandy

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Anyone who has a chronic illness understands the importance of the relationship with your doctor. It takes time to build a trusting and respectful relationship. Changing or ending that relationship is like breaking up with a long time friend.

When my cancer recurred for the second time in 2012, I made the decision to seek more specialized care. I chose CTCA based on the recommendations of several close friends and CTCA's reputation for excellence. Jay and I have been so happy with the amazing care and patient centered atmosphere there.

A couple of months ago, I learned that effective January 1, my insurance would no longer allow me to receive treatment at CTCA. We discussed this with my oncologist during our last visit and she recommended a Gynecological Oncologist in Phoenix.
With much sadness, we have ended our relationship with CTCA. We will miss our tremendous team there.

Today, we met with my new oncology team at University of Arizona Cancer Center in Phoenix. My doctors here are very kind, gentle and patient. After our visit, we feel very comfortable with the level of care I will receive.

During my last visit at CTCA, biopsies were done for genomic testing. Today, we reviewed the implications of those test results along with my current health status.

For several months, I have been battling a c-diff infection. My immune system is not as strong as it should be, so it has been difficult fighting this nasty little bug. My oncologist is sending me to meet with a GI specialist to determine a plan to treat this effectively. In order to proceed with any further cancer treatments, the c-diff infection must be completely gone.

The next step will be to try and shrink or stabilize the growth of the tumors in my abdomen and pelvis. Due to the location of the largest tumors, surgery is not an option, so we can only treat with chemotherapy.
Unfortunately, the tumors have been proving to be more and more resistant to chemo and we are nearing the end of the treatments we can try.

First, we will try a combination of Avastin and Cytoxan. I have had this combo before and had success in keeping the tumors stable for several months.
Next, there is a chemo called Abraxane. This is a stronger chemo that will be much harder on my body and it is a total crap-shoot as to whether or not it will produce results.
Finally, there is the possibility of a clinical trial. My genomic testing showed two different gene mutations within my cancer cells. At the present time, the only medication available to treat these mutations are in clinical trials. Right now, I do not qualify for a clinical trial due to the amount of chemotherapy I have had in the past. My doctor is working to bring the medication into a new clinical trial without the exclusions based on past treatments. The time frame of this happening is unknown.

While we were not surprised by today's news, it was not what we wanted to hear. We will continue to move forward and hope to get the c-diff under control soon so we can begin the first chemo regimen.

We are thankful that God has provided a kind new team of doctors to work with. We are continuing to trust in His love, timing and plan.

Blessings,
Mandy